This weekend I ran into a friend from college that I hadn’t really stayed in touch with.
College is a weird time because Life is in limbo: you’re kind of an adult but you’re also jobless, trying to learn something (anything) that will help prepare for “the future.” Well, here we were, 5 years out of college, living in that future.
And the last time I had seen my friend was in college, so my memories of him were always relatively studious: going to class, studying for tests, etc — all in preparing for the future he’s living in right now.
So my friend starts filling me in on life, and he immediately starts to dog his job. He isn’t making much money, he doesn’t value the experience, blah blah. I start to feel bad for him.
And then, he starts explaining to me why. Why he can’t get a better job, and why he’s unhireable. Why his life basically sucks.
My jaw dropped. I couldn’t even let him finish. I just told him, “No.”
No. I was mad, and I was annoyed by his mindset. You can’t get a better job? You are literally stuck?? No! HELL no.
I couldn’t believe the lack of accountability. It made me mad that he felt that way about his situation. There wasn’t an ounce of confidence in his soul that he felt he had the ability to get himself out of this situation. He was doomed.
He is 25 years old for f*’s sake!
I realized right then and there, while fighting with him about the dangers of his mindset, that success is a choice. And failure is a choice. If you think you are stuck, you are. If you think you are doomed, you definitely are.
The reality is there isn’t a clear definition of success because it’s different for everyone, but failure always looks the same. Failure is giving up.
As long as I am moving forward, I am succeeding. But when I stop, throw in the towel and say this is too hard, that is when I fail.
And let’s make it clear: change isn’t failure. I’ve had to make changes to my business often, and sometimes they feel like they could be taking a step back. But again, it’s mindset. How can tweaking something to make it better be a failure? To me, realizing what is working and what isn’t working is not failure, it’s progress. And it’s smart.
I’m not an excuses person. I don’t give too much attention to external circumstances, because I think it’s really dangerous. Because success is a state of mind, and success comes from a state of mind.
Your Challenge: I hope you take a minute to think about what external circumstances you are turning into excuses for WHY you cannot move forward with your dreams. Don’t let these be your scapegoat for failure.
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